Illogical Traditions
by Rowan Cookie
Summary: Jim has decided to throw a Christmas dinner for everyone.


"Spock!" Jim cried out as he burst into his First Officers quarters. Spock looked up from the report he was reading at his desk,

"Yes Captain?"

"It's Christmas tomorrow," Spock nodded slightly as he turned back to his PADD,

"I know," he replied, "You have informed me of this fact fifty-six times in the last month,"

"Yeah well-"

"Furthermore, it is well advertised that there is a Christmas party going on in one of the rec rooms tomorrow evening," Jim nodded,

"Ok, yes, but before the party tomorrow I'm holding a Christmas dinner,"

"For the entire crew?"

"No, for me, you, Bones, Scotty, Uhura, Sulu and Chekov,"

"Very well. Would you like me to bring anything?" Spock asked,

"I don't think so, just come to my quarters after your shift tomorrow," Jim said cheerfully. Spock put his PADD down and turned to fully face Jim.

"Would you like to play chess Captain?" He asked, nodding towards the board that stood on a table at the side of the room. Recently the set seemed to have become a permanent fixture in Spock's room with him and Jim playing so regularly that putting it away never seemed worth it. Jim smiled,

"I'm sorry but I need to go and invite the others to the dinner and then I have somethings I need to get ready for tomorrow," Spock nodded,

"I will see you tomorrow then Captain," he said,

"See you tomorrow Spock," Jim replied with a grin before hurrying out of his quarters.

-x-

The next day, as the end of his shift drew near, Spock couldn't help but feel a slight sensation of anticipation at the prospect of Jim's Christmas dinner. He'd never had one before. His mother had never celebrated Christmas on Vulcan and after he'd gotten to Earth he'd been forced to a few parties, but he'd never been close enough to anyone to be invited to Christmas dinner before.

He managed to occupy the last hour of his shift imagining what Christmas dinner would be like and then, before he knew it, his shift was over and he and the Captain were entering the turbo lift together.

"Have you got everything ready for your dinner Captain?" Spock asked, causing Jim to grin, he seemed to be doing that a lot recently and, as much as Spock didn't want to admit it, he always felt a slight thrill whenever that particular expression graced Jim's face.

"Nearly, I've just got a few quick things to do," the two of them stepped out of the lift and headed towards their quarters. Spock gave a slight nod,

"Would you like some help?" he asked,

"Sure," Jim replied as he opened the door to his room. The two officers walked inside and were instantly hit with the over whelming smell of food. Spock turned to see where it was coming from and saw a large silver cabinet on wheels. Jim walked over to it and opened up one of the sides to reveal plates upon plates of different vegetables, stuffing, potatoes, everything Spock had spent the morning imagining.

"Can you put the crackers out?" Jim asked, pointing to a box of long, shiny, red tubes that stood on top of a pile of books on Jim's desk,

"What do I do with them?" Spock asked, walking over to pick the box up,

"Just put one in each place at the table," Jim answered. Spock turned to the long table that had mysteriously appeared in the middle of Jim's quarters. It was covered in a white table cloth embroidered with sliver snowflakes. There was a row of green placemats running up the centre of the table and seven places were set around the edge. Spock started to place the crackers around the table as Jim started the carry the plates of food over.

"I got you a nut roast seen you can't eat the turkey," Jim said, "hope that's ok,"

"That is acceptable," Spock agreed as he placed the last cracker down,

"You also obviously can't eat the pigs in blankets – the sausages wrapped in bacon – but aside from that you can eat whatever you want,"

"Thank you," Spock replied as he picked up a bowl of peas from the cabinet, "Do these go anywhere in particular?"

"No, just put them on a mat somewhere."

Before too long the two them had laid out all the food and Jim had put on a shockingly bright Christmas jumper,

"Are you sure you don't want to wear one?" Jim asked, holding up a stripy jumper,

"Affirmative," Spock said, "they are illogical,"

"They're not!" He exclaimed but Spock just rose his eyebrow in response, "Ok, maybe they are, but that doesn't mean they aren't great!"

"No," Jim sighed,

"Fine," with that he threw the jumper he was holding onto his bed and ducked down to rummage around under it, "Here you can wear these," he said as the doorbell rang. Jim jumped up to answer it and as he walked past he slipped some reindeer antlers onto Spock's head.

"Uhura!" Jim greeted, "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas," she replied, following Jim into the room. She grinned at Spock, or more precisely she grinned at the antlers adorning Spock's head, "Merry Christmas Spock," she said before turning to look at the feast they'd laid out on the table,

"Oh wow," she remarked, "I haven't seen food like this since that celebration we were invited to on Sollio VI,"

"I'll say," Spock and Uhura turned around to see that Bones had also arrived and was wearing a jumper just as bad as the Captain's. "I brought brandy," he declared, holding the bottle up,

"Oooooo," Jim grinned, taking the bottle, "this is the nice stuff too,"

"No doubt Mr Scott will also bring some form of alcohol," Spock remarked,

"I told him to save his for the party," Jim said, "we don't want to get drunk here, that's what tonight is for,"

"Speak for yourself," Bones replied, snatching the bottle back off Jim.

Before long everyone had arrived and Jim had managed to shepherd everyone over to the table. Jim sat at the head of the table with Spock and Bones either side of him. Uhura sat next to Spock with Scotty next to her and Chekov sat next to Bones then Sulu.

"Shall we pull the crackers?" Sulu asked, offering the end of his to Chekov,

"What are crackers?" Spock asked as he picked his up and started to inspect it,

"You pull them with somebody and then they have a crown, a joke and a present inside," Jim said,

"Why?"

"Tradition," Scotty supplied. Jim shrugged,

"It's best not to question it Spock," he said, "most traditions are 'illogical',"

"Are ve going to pull ze crackers or not?" Chekov asked,

"Yes," Jim declared, taking hold of McCoy's cracker and offering his own to Spock,

"Take hold of Jim's cracker and give me the end of yours," Uhura told him,

"Then on the count of three everyone pull," Jim said, "One…Two…Three," there was a small bang as all the crackers came apart. Jim picked up his crown and carefully unfolded it,

"Are you going to put your crown on Spock?" he asked,

"I don't think it would work with the antlers," he replied almost smugly,

"Hmmm," Uhura picked up Spock's crown and took the antlers off his head. She then unfolded his crown, placed it upon his head then carefully slotted the antlers inside of it, "There," she said. Jim smiled,

"Perfect." As much as Spock wanted to object he just couldn't bring himself to go against anything that made Jim smile like that.

"Can ve start?" Chekov asked,

"Of course, tuck in!"

Soon everyone's plate was piled high with turkey (or nut roast), stuffing, carrots, peas, potatoes, parsnips, cauliflower, broccoli and many other things and everyone was happily eating their food.

"I'd like to propose a toast," Jim said, standing up and raising his glass, "This year we've faced some truly…"

"Terrifying?"

"Bizarre?"

"Fascinating?"

"Interesting situations and the fact that we succeeded so many times, the fact we all survived, is down to all of you, you are all amazing and the best crew I could ask for so this is to you guys, to the Enterprise,"

"To friends?" Sulu suggested, Jim nodded,

"To friends,"

"To friends," everyone echoed. Jim smiled and took a step back from the table,

"I also have these," he said, pulling a bag out from under his desk,

"What's that?" Sulu asked,

"Presents!" Jim declared, "I have one for each of you," with that he took six parcels from his bag and passed them around the table,

"You told us not to get you anything!" Uhura cried but Jim just shrugged,

"Yeah, I know but I wanted to get you all something to say thank you,"

"But still…I feel bad"

"I don't need anything," Jim said, "I already have everything I want,"

"Eww, now you're getting sappy," Bones said before tearing the paper off his present to reveal a large bottle of Romulan wine, "Oh wow," he remarked, "I don't want to think about how many strings you had to pull to get this," Jim smirked,

"I'm sure you don't."

One by one everyone opened their presents. Sulu got a wide selection of intergalactic seeds for the botany lab, Chekov received a large bottle of Vodka, Scotty got a working model of the Enterprise and Uhura was given a beautiful gold necklace with a pale opal hanging from it.

"Just you left Spock," Jim said, "Open it," Spock began to carefully peal the paper off from around his present. Jim rolled his eyes,

"Just tear the it," he sighed,

"It is my present and I shall open it how I wish," Spock replied. He ran his fingers under the Sellotape, prying the wrapping off to reveal three leather bound books, "The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings and The Silmarillion," Spock read,

"They're Earth classics," Jim explained, "You'll probably think they're illogical but…"

"They're lovely," Spock breathed as he ran his fingers over the covers, "Thank you," Jim smiled,

"You're welcome."

After dinner the crew started to file out of Jim's quarters to go and get ready for the party leaving just Jim and Spock. The two of them collected up the plates and placed them back into the silver cabinet.

"Did you have fun Spock?" Jim asked as the two of them walked over to the door to the bathroom separating his and Spock's quarters,

"Vulcan's do not have fun,"

"Of course not,"

"However, I did find this experience enjoyable," Jim grinned before looking up,

"Spock,"

"Yes?" Jim pointed up to a small sprig of a green plant with white berries hanging from the door frame,

"I'm afraid I do not understand," Spock said however instead of explaining Jim stood on his tiptoes and pressed his lips to Spock's.

"It's mistletoe," he said after he pulled away, "If two people meet under it they're meant to kiss,"

"Why did you hang it there?" Spock asked,

"Well I couldn't risk getting anybody else under it," Jim replied almost sheepishly. Spock looked up at the plant again,

"We're still standing under it," he remarked and then, before Jim could realise what was happening, Spock bent down and kissed him,

"Merry Christmas Jim," he said with a slight quirk of his lips,

"Merry Christmas Spock."


End file.
